Life After The Nevers

Jip's issues and my relentless attempts at getting to the bottom of them are likely the main cause of my marital demise. I think my ex-husband had a "he'll grow out of it" attitude and a tendency to just run from anything that was even remotely scary. It's unfortunate and it's sad, but everyone is much happier now. After my marriage fell apart, I wondered what kind of man I would have to find to accept me and my boys. At the time they were little and Jip was still a hot mess of misdiagnosis in combination with being a Threenager (my mother refers to it as the "tumultuous threes") and I had a little barely-a-toddler who still took a bottle and slept in a crib. I was working two jobs and attempting to simply stay afloat. 

One night at work I was bored, thinking about how long it had been since I had been paid attention to, laughed at (in a good way), smiled at genuinely...etc, etc. I'm not going to air my dirty laundry, but I will say I was the very definition of lonely. It had been a LONG time since I had felt much of anything, folks. So in my boredom I decided to download the OKCupid app to my phone. No shame in my game, people. I had a few conversations here and there, but nothing spectacular. A few days passed and I received a message from a 22 year old. Twenty two. I have several "nevers" in my life, and dating someone that age was a big never. I read his message a few times internally debating if I wanted to open this can of worms or not. His message did not ask me for a picture or the lame "What's up?", but was a soft, well written quick little note. I gave in and responded. 

Remember those nevers I spoke of? Well, I soon found out he had another strike against him. He was in the Air Force. I always said I would never date anyone in the military. I didn't want to mess with ego's (yes, they do exist), deployments or moving all over tarnations. But something (or someone [God, I'm looking at you my friend]) told me to keep responding to his messages.

Over the next few days and weeks I continued to talk to him all while having reservations and second thoughts. I just couldn't fathom a 22 year old having what I needed as a woman and a mother. 

What I ended up finding in him was what I needed and more. Most importantly, I found a real friend who accepted me fully, and accepted my children - FULLY. 

I can't imagine what it's like to be a stepparent to my boys. I can't imagine what it's like to willingly take on a crazy bunch like us (and we won't even mention my family...heh) and love us unconditionally. Un-freaking-conditionally folks. 

This isn't homeschool related, but I know there are some single mommas of high needs kiddos out there struggling, wondering if it will ever happen. IT WILL. Hang in there, don't give up, don't be scared, and take those nevers and throw them out the damn window!