My Best Day

Today was by far my best day connecting with Jip. We had a fabulous time on our field trip, and as projected, I spent way too much money at Lakeshore Learning. It's like Hobby Lobby and Target combined and it is pure danger.
We had front row seats at Junie B. Jones: Jingle Bells Batman Smells. It was a very cute play, and Jip was really getting ancy the last fifteen minutes or so. But folks, this was an hour and a half play. My baby sat quietly and relatively still for over an hour. On our way home he said, "Mom, this is the best day ever." I melted right in my seat.
At Lakeshore Learning, he stumbled upon numbers 0-9 that "transformed" into robots and came with mathematical symbols. I wasn't going to get them (because frankly I wasn't paying attention to them), but my insanely relentless son threw a big fit (in which I told him no way will I buy them with that attitude), and then convinced me to take one more look at them. Well when I really looked at them I gave in. What a neat way to learn numbers! And yes, I am avoiding talking about what a pushover I was at that moment and how I did not drive that lesson home very well. I pick my battles. I admit when my child has a good idea even if it's against principle. Anywho, these things are so awesome! So we spent a good part of our day learning about each of the numbers, what order they go in, what they look like, etc. Every time we were in the car we talked about them, at therapy we talked about them, and at home we talked about them for a good hour. So while I had no real lesson planned for today, I'd say today was extremely successful in the learning arena. Tomorrow rounds out my first week homeschooling and I have to say I feel relatively good about it. I get warm fuzzies knowing I'm the one teaching my boy. I'm actively doing something I was always so convinced I couldn't do. Those damn nevers really have a way of teaching me life lessons...
I worked overnight last night, so this momma is just about all out of steam. Thanks for reading! Tomorrow is more letter L and number play. We're going to go halfsies on my husbands man cave and make one corner a classroom. I can't wait to show you all how it's turned out once we've finished. But first, we have to move the beer fridge... ;)

Momma Tears, Jip Tears, and the Letter L

Yesterday Jip had 4 appointments. If you want to wear a momma and her baby out, have 4 appointments on the same day you start a new medication. Our first one was with our Developmental Pediatrician, Dr. Harkins. She suggested a few things that could be causing Jips relatively recent explosive, long lasting and sometimes physical tantrums/meltdowns. She ended the appointment with "you're doing a great job." Now folks, let me tell you something. If you want to bring a high/special needs momma to her knees, tell her that. Those five words strike a cord so deep it's hard for me to put in words. I gave holding back tears my best shot, but it was still obvious I was getting choked up. I sat there and stared at Jip and wondered why God was challenging me - challenging my poor Jip - but I quickly stopped. I learned during my divorce to not questions God's path. He knows what he's doing and I just have to hang in there. We headed home to nap and decompress for our afternoon appointments - Speech and Physical therapy, and our first appointment with a psychologist for Jip. Speech was the second part of his evaluation. Most kids finish within one visit, but not my guy. We had to divide it into two appointments since Jip needs to be redirected so much. She mentioned his "many deficits" so many times I wanted to crawl in a hole. I know she didn't mean anything negative and was just trying to tell me why it took so long, but I just wanted to scream "I KNOW!" I know lady, I know. He had a big meltdown when we finally got home from everything yesterday, and I have to say he had a VERY valid for being upset. Dairy Queen forgot his ice cream. His meltdowns are so very emotional and super loud. Those tears of his break my heart. He cries the biggest crocodile tears out of the blues eyes I have ever seen. I'm really working on remaining calm and monotone during these times, and it is SO HARD. I've done some difficult things in my life, and this is the hardest, hands down. Hopefully with some changes and efforts from everyone in the house, these meltdowns will lessen over time. They aren't healthy for my boy and we are willing to do anything to help him gain more composure. 

 

We tried to go to a indoor trampoline place today, but Jip (nicely) asked if we could not go. Unfortunately one of the toughest aspects of parenting a child like Jip (I think) is momma friends. I'm sure most people think I'm a massive flake - and maybe I am. I don't want to be, but sometimes I just absolutely cannot make plans because I feel like I am always canceling them. Anyway, I suggested the park to Jip and he and JD really loved that idea. Thennnnnn I realized it was raining. *pats self on back* Way to go... 

Que meltdown. Luckily it didn't escalate too bad and I talked him into Story Time at Barnes & Noble (which my generally calm JD acted like a banshee). 

Today was my first real attempt at homeschooling. We did about 30 minutes of work, which I know doesn't sound like much. I'm trying to ease into this transition and not force it because I certainly don't want backlash. As I get more comfortable teaching Jip, I hope to start with JD as well. I decided to use Easy Peasy Homeschool which is a free, online, all-in-one, Christian curriculum. Today we studied the letter L. We colored Lee the Lion and circled all the letter L's in the story about Lucy the Ladybug, along with some tracing activies and practiced writing his name. 

My sweet JD was a hot two year old mess today and actually gave me more strife than his brother. I was so happy when GAT (my husband [who by the way is 23, NOT 22 as I mentioned yesterday...whoops]) got home because JD had me tapped. out. We had lots of good family playtime, and reviewed our letter L worksheets from earlier in the day. 

Tomorrow we're going to go see a play, and I am so SO pumped. I hope Jip likes it. I'll be sure to post about that field trip along with what we get at our potentially very dangerous trip to Lakeshore Learning and Hobby Lobby. Remember to feel free to post any questions you may have about homeschooling or ADHD below. Happy Hump Day! 

Life After The Nevers

Jip's issues and my relentless attempts at getting to the bottom of them are likely the main cause of my marital demise. I think my ex-husband had a "he'll grow out of it" attitude and a tendency to just run from anything that was even remotely scary. It's unfortunate and it's sad, but everyone is much happier now. After my marriage fell apart, I wondered what kind of man I would have to find to accept me and my boys. At the time they were little and Jip was still a hot mess of misdiagnosis in combination with being a Threenager (my mother refers to it as the "tumultuous threes") and I had a little barely-a-toddler who still took a bottle and slept in a crib. I was working two jobs and attempting to simply stay afloat. 

One night at work I was bored, thinking about how long it had been since I had been paid attention to, laughed at (in a good way), smiled at genuinely...etc, etc. I'm not going to air my dirty laundry, but I will say I was the very definition of lonely. It had been a LONG time since I had felt much of anything, folks. So in my boredom I decided to download the OKCupid app to my phone. No shame in my game, people. I had a few conversations here and there, but nothing spectacular. A few days passed and I received a message from a 22 year old. Twenty two. I have several "nevers" in my life, and dating someone that age was a big never. I read his message a few times internally debating if I wanted to open this can of worms or not. His message did not ask me for a picture or the lame "What's up?", but was a soft, well written quick little note. I gave in and responded. 

Remember those nevers I spoke of? Well, I soon found out he had another strike against him. He was in the Air Force. I always said I would never date anyone in the military. I didn't want to mess with ego's (yes, they do exist), deployments or moving all over tarnations. But something (or someone [God, I'm looking at you my friend]) told me to keep responding to his messages.

Over the next few days and weeks I continued to talk to him all while having reservations and second thoughts. I just couldn't fathom a 22 year old having what I needed as a woman and a mother. 

What I ended up finding in him was what I needed and more. Most importantly, I found a real friend who accepted me fully, and accepted my children - FULLY. 

I can't imagine what it's like to be a stepparent to my boys. I can't imagine what it's like to willingly take on a crazy bunch like us (and we won't even mention my family...heh) and love us unconditionally. Un-freaking-conditionally folks. 

This isn't homeschool related, but I know there are some single mommas of high needs kiddos out there struggling, wondering if it will ever happen. IT WILL. Hang in there, don't give up, don't be scared, and take those nevers and throw them out the damn window! 

Day 1

Like all bloggers, I have a starting point. Today is my starting point. Turning over a new leaf. Taking a leap of faith. Whatever you want to call it - I've put all my eggs in one basket, and if one falls out it will all go to crap. So in celebration, I'm going to (attempt) to start blogging as frequently as I can. I hope I can be a resource. A "hey, this lady gets me" kind of page that parents turn to. A source of laughter - maybe even a source of tears. Welcome. Visit. Stay.

Jip is 4. He's a fireball, simply put. So very, very sweet in his core, but hot to the touch. He's a wild, crazy mix of emotions, and is my pure source of exhaustion every day. Every. Day. I love him fiercely and defensively. Every good thing I want to do in this world is in him. I've been through a slew of diagnoses with him - from "oh, he's a normal boy" to Autism to ADHD, SPD, Aphasia and Dysgraphia (our most current, and I feel final, diagnosis). Jip currently does occupational and physical therapy twice a week and is currently in speech therapy evaluation.

JD is 2. What a loving, relaxed guy he is. In all honesty, he is what keeps me sane and grounded at the end of the day (as does my husband). When my whole day has gone to hell, I can snuggle up in his soft, squishy rolls and let all my fears go. His heart is my safe place and I thank God for him every day. He is absolutely opposite from my Jip and I can't believe two boys who came from the exact same set of DNA could be so very, very different. JD is neurotypical.

I am an Air Force Wife by day, and a sonographer on the weekends. I left a M-F 8-5 job that most healthcare workers dream of to be at home during the day for my boys. Originally it was just to take them to school and pick them up, but I have made the massive and absolutely horrifying decision to homeschool. Growing up I never thought of ADHD as a disability or anything to even be remotely concerned about. I knew kids with it and heard all the adults whisper about how it's a catch all diagnosis and all these kids really need is some good discipline and stability. I'm here to end this thought process. These kids ARE disciplined. They DO come from stability. They come from loving homes where parents work hard physically and mentally. And they are also massively under served in the school community.

In this blog I hope to be a comical relief and resource to homeschooling mommas of special needs kiddos. Come and read with a light heart. I don't know what I'm doing here, so there are bound to be quite a few mistakes along the way. I won't hold back in revealing those to you. Again - this is real.

Today was Day 1 of my new adventure. We really did absolutely nothing. The boys got way too much screen time, refused to eat their broccoli at lunch, and laid in the (super quiet, not busy) street. I let JD lay on the skateboard and use his hands to push himself along - all while praying for his little chubby fingers. Jip literally RAN around our whole block (which is a biggin') and the whole time I prayed God would give me some of that endless energy of his. All in all I'd say it was a win though. Jip had no real meltdowns or tantrums, and took a nap with little resistance. Of course we had our almost daily visit to the rehab facility where Jip has his therapy, and JD got his 50 cent bag of popcorn.

Tomorrow we have 4 appts to go to, so I expect it to be not-so-fun, but we will see. I'm positive I will have a lot to report back on.

To my family, I hope this keeps you as up to date as you could ever be on what's going on in our home. We love you so very much and I wish we had more time to visit with you all. One day the chaos will settle.

Peace, love and internet hugs.